Because you don’t need a +12 gratitude journal to feel worthy.

Welcome to Week 2 of our Spring Clean Your Routine questline, adventurer. This leg of the journey is all about clearing the clutter in your self-care arsenal—because even the mightiest hero can’t carry 38 potions and a cursed habit or two.

It’s time to open your character sheet, review your skills, and clear out that spiritual backpack. Let’s get ruthless about what’s actually helping you level up—and what’s just weighing you down like a soggy loaf of lembas bread.

⚔️ The Self-Care Side Quest Got Out of Hand

At some point, “wellness” stopped being a sacred daily ritual and turned into a boss fight you didn’t sign up for.

You were promised:

  • Glowing skin if you used 47 serums
  • Peace if you woke up at dawn to cold plunge your trauma away
  • Enlightenment via mushroom latte

But now your spell slots are empty, your morale is low, and your Potion of Motivation? Used it last week.

Good news: You don’t need to do all the things. You need to do the right things—for your class, your energy type, and your current IRL campaign.

🧹 Step One: Inventory Audit

Every good RPG has an inventory system. Time for yours.

List out every “wellness habit” currently living rent-free in your brain.

Then assign it one of three tags:

🟢 Buff Active: This helps. Legit. I feel better, stronger, or more sane when I do this.

🟡 Questionable Loot: Not sure if it’s helping or I’m just doing it because an elf on Instagram told me to.

🔴 Cursed Object: This sucks the joy out of me. Guilt-inducing, energy-draining, or flat-out annoying.

Now take action like the hero you are:

  • Dismantle or toss the cursed items.
  • Evaluate the meh loot. Can it be enchanted into something better—or dropped entirely?
  • Boost the active buffs. That’s your core build.

🛠️ Crafting a Modular Wellness Routine

Instead of following someone else’s sacred scroll of self-care, build your custom loadout.

Try creating a Self-Care Menu like a dynamic quest list:

High Energy Mode:

  • Quest: Slay the weights or do a HIIT raid
  • Ritual: Clean your space while blasting bard-core
  • Buff: Journaling, vision board updates, or potion prep (aka meal prep)

Neutral Energy Mode:

  • Quest: Stretch, walk, or cast Calm Emotions (aka breathwork)
  • Ritual: Herbal tea, low-spoon meal, skincare scroll
  • Buff: Read, game, or roll dice with friends

Low Energy / Overwhelmed Mode:

  • Quest: Survive. Nap. Cry. Respawn.
  • Ritual: One glass of water. One breath. One “no”
  • Buff: Comfort show, fuzzy socks, and no guilt

This is adaptive wellness. It’s not about grinding—it’s about conserving mana and optimizing your stats.

🧠 Wisdom Check: Are You Falling for a Wellness Mimic?

Some trends are like mimics—look helpful, secretly bite.

Ask yourself:

  • Would I still do this if no one saw it on socials?
  • Am I doing this because it feels good, or because I think I should?
  • If I dropped this for a week, would I feel relief or regret?

This is about alignment—not with some external doctrine, but with your personal wellness deity (hint: it’s you).

📜 TL;DR for My Fellow Nerd Clerics:

  • Your wellness inventory may be overloaded. Time to manage your loot.
  • Ditch what drains your HP. Keep what restores it.
  • Modular routines > rigid schedules.
  • Don’t equip gear that doesn’t match your current quest.
  • Protect your peace like it’s a legendary artifact.
  • Self-worth isn’t earned with perfect rituals. It’s your base stat.

💌 Bonus Loot Drop:

Want a downloadable “Wellness Loadout & Buff Tracker”? I made you a free printable because I love you and also because I wanted an excuse to draw tiny pixel potions. Just drop a comment or hit me up and I’ll send it your way.

Next week, we talk re-rolls. Didn’t stick with your New Year’s resolutions? Good. You’re evolving. We’ll talk about reassigning skill points and rewriting your main quest without guilt.

But for now—equip your best spell, hydrate, and remember:

✨ You are not behind. You are in your origin story. ✨

Hey there! If you’re enjoying the content here, I’d love to invite you to join the Patreon. Most of the good stuff is open to everyone through the Free Membership, so you can dive in without any strings attached.

But if you find the content valuable and want to support it financially, there’s a super affordable paid tier that comes with a special Discord tag and periodic exclusive content—just for our VIPs! Your support helps me put more focus on our community and even make a difference by donating to a few local causes Spirit’s Respite Rance and the Stettler and District Food Bank. Feel free to check them out to see where some of the support is going!

Come hang out with us in The Nerd Wellness Guild and join the fun!

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